Grace
Hi Ladies, I hope you all had a great week. Sometimes, days and weeks are not great. Sometimes, it feels like everything is going wrong or worse, a soul crushing, life-changing occurrence has shown up at your door. Though I do not wish those days or weeks upon anyone, those bad weeks and horrible, unforeseen events are a part of life. While my week was not horrendous in the way anyone would deem horrendous or life-changing; it seemed as though over and over I kept messing up. Losing things I shouldn't have lost or absentmindedly placing an important piece of paper in a place it didn't belong, or just making a silly mistake at work that in the moment made me want to bang my head against my cubicle wall. You know that feeling - where you just feel dumb or stupid in front of others? Or maybe others aren't even aware, but you feel like "everyone" knows your mishap and is laughing at you. You concoct the stories in your head that if "they" did know, oh my gosh, it would be the worst and "they" would sit around pointing and whispering horrible things about the fucked up person you are.
As a woman in her thirties, I feel I have come to a place in life where I am not typically worried about what the next person thinks about my life, and feel as strong and confidant in who I am more than I ever have; that doesn't mean I still don't have moments of doubt or self-consciousness. And who doesn't? Some more than others for sure ( I do hope and pray, women, especially young women are not afraid to be themselves and share what they are meant to share with the world). I am sure most humans have these moments or days or weeks. I digress. What I really want to say is, its okay, and it's okay to be honest about it and maybe you need to lay on the floor, face down and BREATHE.
Deep long inhales and exhales. Maybe you need to shed a tear or two. Maybe you need to call a girlfriend to share, that no, things are not bad per se but you just need to talk and know you are not alone. Maybe you need to be gentle with yourself. Maybe you need to show yourself some grace.
Funny enough, the intention in my Monday yoga class was being "soft" with yourself. Softening up those "hard places" to allow air in. To stop beating yourself up. I think that is something we all need to come back to. This does not go to say it is okay to excuse bad, unkind, wretched behavior, but to recognize that you reacted badly or someone reacted badly to you and forgive. Forgive yourself and forgive the person who treated you unkindly. We are all on a journey and it is easy to forget that someone is reacting the way they are because they have been hurt in the past and that is the only way they know, at this moment in time, how to respond.
So that is what I have this week. If you are looking for more words of wisdom on this topic, I would encourage you to check out the book by Erin Loechner, Chasing Slow: Courage to Journey Off the Beaten Path.
Be Gentle with yourself, Be Gentle with others.
❤ Jess
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